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The Origin of Science
Powerman Saves the World!
By Misty Lee Bystanders saw a flash of red and blue emerge from the public restrooms on Jackson Street at one-hundred miles an hour. Spandex. A cape. Carefully manicured nails. Teeth whiter than white. Knee high patent leather boots. A bulging package, emphasized by the slip worn on the outside of his tight leggings. They […]
Posted in: Stories
On the Proposal to Abolish Marriage in Oklahoma
January 28, 2014
About three years ago, state legislators introduced a bill to ban Islamic law (sharia) in Oklahoma. It remains a mystery why certain right-wing politicians in the United States of America think that there is an imminent and realistic threat of their courts beginning to hand down decisions based on Islamic sharia. Likewise, it remains a […]
Posted in: Notes
The Death of Celluloid: De-skilling in the Cinema Business
January 10, 2014
By Patrick M. Dixon When I grew tired of mopping up vomit in a nightclub in 2003, I applied for a job working for the UCI Cinemas close to my home in Dorset in the United Kingdom. I passed a basic interview where I was asked questions like “What is your favorite film?” and “What […]
Posted in: Articles
2014: The Year of Self-Criticism and Industry!
January 6, 2014
Exactly one year ago on January 6, 2013, the scientific editors of Selecting Stones announced that 2013 would be the Year of Work, and set out on an ambitious plan for the year. Although we achieved superhuman feats of Science over and over again, our stated goals for the year were so ambitious that we […]
Posted in: Features
Political Parties With Shitty Websites: The Alaskan Independence Party
December 27, 2013
By Hercules Abdelaziz After Misty Lee’s thorough investigation of the crappy Angelfire-hosted website of the Vermont independence movement, the scientific editors of Selecting Stones thought that it might be a good idea to carry forward with some scrutiny of a more well-known separatist movement’s piece-of-shit website. Accordingly, I decided to contribute a short article on […]
Posted in: Features
Political Parties With Shitty Websites: The Green Mountain Republic
December 22, 2013
By Misty Lee “…a separation must be staged with the bloated bureaucracy of the United States. This break must occur on all levels: political, economic, societal, cultual, [sic] and emotional.” So says the webmaster of our latest shitty website, that of a party “founded on the belief that democracy CANNOT be practiced on a large […]
Posted in: Features
Political Parties With Shitty Websites: The Objectivist Party
December 8, 2013
By Misty Lee In early 2008, Thomas Stevens — who advertises himself as “Dr. Tom Stevens” — resigned from the Boston Tea Party and founded the Objectivist Party on February 2, the birthday of reactionary author Ayn Rand. While Stevens has a bachelor’s degree from New York University and a law degree from Hofstra, he […]
Posted in: Features
The Real Threat of Identity Theft
December 5, 2013
By Amien Essif, of The Gazine Alright, holiday shoppers of 2013 — are you having fun yet? Did you get your rush on Black Friday, which has now been moved up to Thursday somewhere between the corn casserole and the cranberry relish? More importantly, did you get your discount? Great, but don’t let the romance […]
Posted in: Articles
Confederate Flag Merchandise at a Kanye West Concert
December 4, 2013
The following image demonstrates some merchandise for sale at a Kanye West concert at the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri on the evening of December 3, 2013. Here are some zoomed-in views: Note that “Yeezus” is the name of Kanye West’s hot new album. What can be said about this? Other than the obvious, […]
Posted in: Notes
Political Parties With Shitty Websites
December 1, 2013
By Misty Lee In the United States of America, all children who attend school learn how the electoral system works: When they reach the age of eighteen they are obliged to register for jury duty, and as an added extra they will be given the option of voting for one of the two parties that […]
Posted in: Features
Homelessness in America’s Wealthiest Counties: Arlington County, VA
November 26, 2013
Each year, Forbes magazine publishes its list of the United States of America’s wealthiest counties. As usual, Arlington County, Virginia — a snake’s den of America’s most God-fearing defense contractors, CIA employees, and retired four-star generals, just across the Potomac River from DC — comes in near the top of the list. As Forbes itself […]
Posted in: Notes
Occupying the Site Formerly Known as Wall Street, part three
November 22, 2013
By Misty Lee …Continued from part two, All three of the protesters began to glare at the police officer whom Reagan had spotted, looking to elicit some sort of response. They were defying the state! Wasn’t he going to crack down on them? He glanced up from a comic book and then returned to it. […]
Posted in: Stories
Occupying the Site Formerly Known as Wall Street, part two
November 19, 2013
By Misty Lee …Continued from part one, The location for a political protest was in many ways obvious. It was the area in lower Manhattan that had been the center of the United States government since the nineteenth century. Long referred to as Wall Street, it had been renamed after the revolution to Rosenberg Street, […]
Posted in: Stories
Occupying the Site Formerly Known as Wall Street, part one
November 13, 2013
By Misty Lee Reagan Campbell read through one of the city’s many different newspapers and learned of the final capitulation of Robert Kraft to the pressure of Labor. Having resisted for months, he had conceded that the Kraft Group did not constitute private property and should be reorganized so that all may benefit equally from […]
Posted in: Stories
Have you met the mysterious Nicole Tacket?
November 8, 2013
By Patrick M. Dixon “Who is this Nicole Tacket?” a friend asked me a few months ago. “I noticed she’s friends with you, Bob, and Dick, but I’ve never heard of her before.” These names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity. I had never met Nicole Tacket either, but realizing that many, many […]
Posted in: Articles
Kansas City Welcomes Neo-Nazi Rally, making it World’s Most Reactionary Place
November 7, 2013
This Saturday, November 9, 2013, Neo-Nazis from the American “National Socialist Movement” will converge on the Jackson County Courthouse in downtown Kansas City, Missouri for a rally. The Kansas City Star reports that two groups are planning counter-protests, which is good news, but the shocking fact that this Nazi rally is to go forward this […]
Posted in: Notes
Weed and Insect Control in Philadelphia, Morocco: The Long and Tortured Relationship of Islam, I.S.L.A.M., and Lawn Care
October 27, 2013
By Frank W. Strauch The scientific editors of Selecting Stones have long held a deep fascination with the interesting quasi-Islamic religion known as Moorish Science. So much so, in fact, that earlier this year we published a lengthy exposé on Taj Tarik Bey, perhaps the Moorish Science Temple of America’s most charismatic spokesman. It has […]
Posted in: Articles
Juan Cole Watch: Juan Cole blocks Selecting Stones on Twitter
October 13, 2013
It has come to the attention of the scientific editors of Selecting Stones that one of Science’s greatest enemies, that charlatan academic blogger named Juan Cole, has blocked Selecting Stones from his Twitter account. Please see the screenshot below, and click to see it in full size: What a doofus! How could the owner of […]
Posted in: Features
Fundamentalist Mormons demonstrate greater Reason than U.S. Government
October 7, 2013
By Frank W. Strauch The scientific editors of Selecting Stones have recently obtained a document of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints via one of our correspondents in the great state of Texas. The important parts of this document are reproduced in text below, and you can download a scan of […]
Posted in: Articles
Kansas City Wants to Know: What Is a Human Being?
September 24, 2013
Yesterday, it came to the attention of the scientific editors of Selecting Stones that our first experiment in video had been taken down by YouTube. Well, looks like we have yet another enemy! But rest assured: The video “Europe in the 2000s vs. Europe in the 2010s” is back up. Scientific editors always hold on […]
Posted in: Features
February 17, 2014
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