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The Origin of Science
The Real Threat of Identity Theft
by Amien Essif, of The Gazine Alright, holiday shoppers of 2013 — are you having fun yet? Did you get your rush on Black Friday, which has now been moved up to Thursday somewhere between the corn casserole and the cranberry relish? More importantly, did you get your discount? Great, but don’t let the romance […]
Posted in: Articles
Confederate Flag Merchandise at a Kanye West Concert
December 4, 2013
The following image demonstrates some merchandise for sale at a Kanye West concert at the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri on the evening of December 3, 2013. Here are some zoomed-in views: Note that “Yeezus” is the name of Kanye West’s hot new album. What can be said about this? Other than the obvious, […]
Posted in: Notes
Political Parties With Shitty Websites
December 1, 2013
by Misty Lee In the United States of America, all children who attend school learn how the electoral system works: When they reach the age of eighteen they are obliged to register for jury duty, and as an added extra they will be given the option of voting for one of the two parties that […]
Posted in: Features
Homelessness in America’s Wealthiest Counties: Arlington County, VA
November 26, 2013
Each year, Forbes magazine publishes its list of the United States of America’s wealthiest counties. As usual, Arlington County, Virginia — a snake’s den of America’s most God-fearing defense contractors, CIA employees, and retired four-star generals, just across the Potomac River from DC — comes in near the top of the list. As Forbes itself […]
Posted in: Notes
Occupying the Site Formerly Known as Wall Street, part three
November 22, 2013
by Misty Lee …Continued from part two, All three of the protesters began to glare at the police officer whom Reagan had spotted, looking to elicit some sort of response. They were defying the state! Wasn’t he going to crack down on them? He glanced up from a comic book and then returned to it. […]
Posted in: Stories
Occupying the Site Formerly Known as Wall Street, part two
November 19, 2013
by Misty Lee …Continued from part one, The location for a political protest was in many ways obvious. It was the area in lower Manhattan that had been the center of the United States government since the nineteenth century. Long referred to as Wall Street, it had been renamed after the revolution to Rosenberg Street, […]
Posted in: Stories
Occupying the Site Formerly Known as Wall Street, part one
November 13, 2013
by Misty Lee Reagan Campbell read through one of the city’s many different newspapers and learned of the final capitulation of Robert Kraft to the pressure of Labor. Having resisted for months, he had conceded that the Kraft Group did not constitute private property and should be reorganized so that all may benefit equally from […]
Posted in: Stories
Have you met the mysterious Nicole Tacket?
November 8, 2013
by Patrick M. Dixon “Who is this Nicole Tacket?” a friend asked me a few months ago. “I noticed she’s friends with you, Bob, and Dick, but I’ve never heard of her before.” These names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity. I had never met Nicole Tacket either, but realizing that many, many […]
Posted in: Articles
Kansas City Welcomes Neo-Nazi Rally, making it World’s Most Reactionary Place
November 7, 2013
This Saturday, November 9, 2013, Neo-Nazis from the American “National Socialist Movement” will converge on the Jackson County Courthouse in downtown Kansas City, Missouri for a rally. The Kansas City Star reports that two groups are planning counter-protests, which is good news, but the shocking fact that this Nazi rally is to go forward this […]
Posted in: Notes
Weed and Insect Control in Philadelphia, Morocco: The Long and Tortured Relationship of Islam, I.S.L.A.M., and Lawn Care
October 27, 2013
by Frank W. Strauch The scientific editors of Selecting Stones have long held a deep fascination with the interesting quasi-Islamic religion known as Moorish Science. So much so, in fact, that earlier this year we published a lengthy exposé on Taj Tarik Bey, perhaps the Moorish Science Temple of America’s most charismatic spokesman. It has […]
Posted in: Articles
Juan Cole Watch: Juan Cole blocks Selecting Stones on Twitter
October 13, 2013
It has come to the attention of the scientific editors of Selecting Stones that one of Science’s greatest enemies, that charlatan academic blogger named Juan Cole, has blocked Selecting Stones from his Twitter account. Please see the screenshot below, and click to see it in full size: What a doofus! How could the owner of […]
Posted in: Features
Fundamentalist Mormons demonstrate greater Reason than U.S. Government
October 7, 2013
by Frank W. Strauch The scientific editors of Selecting Stones have recently obtained a document of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints via one of our correspondents in the great state of Texas. The important parts of this document are reproduced in text below, and you can download a scan of […]
Posted in: Articles
Kansas City Wants to Know: What Is a Human Being?
September 24, 2013
Yesterday, it came to the attention of the scientific editors of Selecting Stones that our first experiment in video had been taken down by YouTube. Well, looks like we have yet another enemy! But rest assured: The video “Europe in the 2000s vs. Europe in the 2010s” is back up. Scientific editors always hold on […]
Posted in: Features
Hercules Abdelaziz: I picked up Elizabeth O’Bagy at a shady nightclub in Tangier, Morocco on Friday, July 27, 2007
September 12, 2013
by Hercules Abdelaziz Hello, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Hercules Abdelaziz, and I am the newest addition to the scientific editorial board of Selecting Stones, having started only a short few weeks ago. As it turns out, it was a blind stroke of luck that I joined Selecting Stones when I […]
Posted in: Articles
Selecting Stones Reaches Out to Rapper Bizzy Bone
September 8, 2013
Esteemed Bizzy Bone, Please understand that in spite of our many ruthless criticisms against art and religion on this revolutionary orthodox Marxist blog, we nevertheless hold you and your body of artistic achievements in the very highest of regards. For reasons that are too complex for us to presently explain here in detail, you are […]
Posted in: Features
And The Earth Is Satisfied, So Satisfied
September 8, 2013
The Quest for Mount Zion Problem and the Repeated Generation of Giant Phantasmagorias in the Twenty-First Century by Ansgar Magnus and Bruno Fournier The ancient philosopher Thales set himself the task of discovering the origin of everything that exists, the first principles of being and what it would all ultimately become, and he eventually reached […]
Posted in: Articles
Dennis Rodman Returns to Pyongyang, and Super-Wealthy Hindu Guru Asaram Bapu Rapes Teenage Girl
September 5, 2013
Now, here at Selecting Stones, we normally take a strong stance against patting ourselves on the back. However, in recent months, we totally made the right call on political developments in Bhutan and the world of Hindu guru Mata Amritanandamayi. We were so on target, in fact, that the New York Times was playing catch […]
Posted in: Notes
Zero Hour Contracts at Buckingham Palace
September 1, 2013
by Patrick M. Dixon How do you fancy working for the Queen? You could even work at Buckingham Palace, rather than one of the royal family’s twenty-one other residences. It won’t involve scrubbing the royal toilets either. As a member of the Palace’s summer staff you will be responsible for selling likenesses of Her Royal […]
Posted in: Articles
Arab country awaits American attack over chemical weapons accusations
August 27, 2013
Haven’t we seen this headline before? As in, a little over ten years ago in Iraq? Let us offer a quote that appeared today in the New York Times to illustrate a point: Even without the evidence that the inspectors are collecting, the United States and other Western powers have concluded that the attack last […]
Posted in: Notes
Notes from an alien’s visit to Nationals Park
August 25, 2013
by Misty Lee Having spent most of the Earth day studying the dominant human power’s system of government, the alien followed federal employees across the center of Washington to Nationals Park. There he would continue his investigations by considering their leisure habits. He understood that baseball was an athletic activity and noticed that many of […]
Posted in: Stories
December 5, 2013
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