Charge it to a Bitch: There Is Only Palestine

Posted on May 22, 2011

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By Eduardo Dijo

Warning: This essay contains explicit language and adult content and therefore it is intended only for mature audiences.

“Sing, Goddess, of the rage, of Peleus’ son Achilles,
The accursed rage, which brought pain to thousands of the Achaeans.”

We all know that democracy is precious, but how precious is it exactly?

Is it more precious than the treasures of Baghdad?

Is it more precious than slavery?

Let us consider the case of Israel, that tragic graveyard of humanity, that terrible monument to man’s abasement which recognizes no parallel, that blooming oasis of democracy and freedom in the guise of a nation-state consisting (almost) exclusively of and for the Jews, which since its very inception has been regarded as one of America’s most useful and dependable allies, who so generously repays the enormous sums of financial aid which are given to her annually by sparing her noble benefactor the trouble of seeing the Middle East with its own eyes, for itself.  America must fight for democracy and freedom in this nightmarish region, not, as it did in Europe during the two world wars, to rescue Helen from the Trojans and thus to restore honor to the Spartan throne, but to protect the oil, the Israelites, and therefore civilization as such.

The Jewish state is not a whore to be treated like any other, for only a strong Jewish state can prevent the emergence of a strong Islamic one.  We must defend Zionism as a bastion against the rising tide of Islamism.

To create a butterfly, nature must give the caterpillar a chance to complete its inexorable march to cocoon.  So too must Israel be given Caterpillar-brand bulldozers for its march on the pitiable remains of refugee camps that are somehow supposed to pass for a viable Palestinian homeland, a basis for a future Palestinian state.

“Excuse me, but are y’all about to diss bitches?”

“Shut the fuck up!  Hell yeah!  Fuck them hoes!  Them bitches trying to play me for these ends.  Bitches can’t get nothing from me but this dick!”

There is nothing for which a Holocaust survivor cannot be forgiven.  Palestine is the pride of the prideless.

“Ain’t nothing worse, you know, than a broke ass hoe, knocking on my door.  Cuz other fools might want the honey, but it’s g’s like me that want the money.”

The international community simply cannot continue to tolerate the actions of the Palestinians, whose situation has become so utterly deplorable that many of them no longer even dream of self-assertion, as their fathers and grandfathers once did, but are instead content merely to sacrifice themselves through increasingly impotent explosions of poetry, suicide bombs which confront an ungrateful – innocent? – audience with the disgusting truth of the impossibility of leading a meaningful life as a Palestinian under the conditions which the Jewish state insists are necessary in order to provide peace of mind to the fragile, dehumanized and therefore inhuman psyches of the descendants and relatives of the victims of the Holocaust, that metaphorical genocide of genocides.

Why can’t the Palestinians also lay claim to the rights and privileges which are customarily granted to the victims of Hitler’s evil plot to eradicate Jewry?  Are they too not equally deserving of monetary reparations and human dignity?

Though impotent, a suicide bomb is also an informed comment™ of sorts.

“Never put a hoe before your homey.  Fuck ‘em and leave ‘em and beg ‘em for their money.”

How many more generations of unspoken, unspeakable suffering must the Palestinians overcome before this cruel alliance of pimp and whore will finally remove its pathetic disguise and confess that they too have been human beings all along?

In what perverse universe does it make sense to place the crimes of the Israelis and the Palestinians on the same level, as if the soldier driving the tank that destroys a home, and the boy symbolically resisting the tank’s advance by hurling rocks at it, should both be sent to the principal’s office to receive one and the same punishment for participating in a mutual life-or-death struggle?  As if the philosophers could reduce this entire sordid affair to some inviolable law of bygone patriarchs, or to some invaluable lesson in historical retribution, instead of seeing it as just another meaningless waste of precious human lives which can never be recovered.

Excited by a powerful instinct, the American diplomat works tirelessly to perfect his song, to preserve and perpetuate his philistine race, which is constantly and everywhere threatened by its own shadow.  Through his work he devotes himself to anyone who has ever known the quality of pain which he carries in private heroism, the incurable emptiness of the little man who is routinely finding himself humiliated yet ambitious in his job, and therefore lets all his suppressed and perverted impulses for power run riot in his own home, calling it freedom.

But take courage, friendless Palestine, for Obama is unlike a Clinton or a Bush.  He exemplifies the audacity of hope and dares to speak of truth.  He understands and sympathizes with your terrible condition of infinite plight, your uniquely punishing fate, your concrete nothingness, your farcical Holocaust.  You just have to learn to forgive him for that over which he has no control: the fact that for the time being he can only speak in the capacity of the President of the United States.  But trust me he still knows a thing or two about disobedience.

Will we ever find a Judas who is both clever and stupid enough to betray such an opportunistic Christ?

“Like the young prodigy said, I think you missed it.  Don’t get this mother fucking shit twisted.  I’m not Captain Save ‘Em though, but when I get me a big butt hoe, I rescue for a minute, I hit it and I quit it, then I let ‘em go.” 

Is Israel even aware of its own self-inflicted losses, or is it too bent on blaming everything on Palestine, simply because it has reserved for itself the right to do so, to recognize that it is also at the same time defeating itself?  Who will be left to carry the blame for Israel’s dangerously unmedicated schizophrenia once this brutal campaign to systematically eradicate every remaining trace of Palestine from the face of the earth and from human consciousness finally overcomes the spineless opposition of its lazy patron, thus leaving the international community with little choice but to acquiesce politically to what will have already long since become an unprecedented and despicable fait accompli?  What else does the state of Israel need in order to ensure the sanctity of what Netanyahu referred to just the other day as “the viability of the one and only Jewish state”?  Does this statement mean that, in Netanyahu’s eyes, the currently existing one and only Jewish state still lacks this mysterious quality of being viable, that the Israel of today remains unviable?

You don’t have to read Marx in order to know that “he who can buy bravery is brave, though a coward.”

“I sit up high on my mother fucking throne.  Bitches – just keep out of this mother fucking game, cuz the mother fucking murder squad is getting paid.”

Let us conclude, then, at the very least, that the real value of democracy in the Middle East will remain unknowable for us until we are willing to pay an even dearer price than the two and a half billion dollars which we give each year in exchange for the privileged honor of Israel’s friendship.  It is going to take a lot more than this two and a half billion dollars for us to buy the fraternization of impossibilities that we so emphatically desire for the region, to make these contradictions embrace each other once and for all, so that we might one day finally be able to bring our beloved servants back home and shower them with the affection and gratitude befitting those thankless songbirds.

Until then keep charging it to a bitch: there is only Palestine.

Free Palestine already you miserable forgeries of human beings.

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