Catholic Reactionary Santorum drops out, leaving the race to Business Tycoon Romney

by Frank W. Strauch

Former Senator Rick Santorum just announced that he was suspending his campaign for the Republican Party nomination in the American presidential race.  It is not as if he ever had a chance in the first place against Mitt Romney, but now the way is paved for the embodiment of Capital itself, in the person of Romney, to go head to head with a slightly different variation of the embodiment of Capital itself, that is to say, Barack Obama.  In the twenty-first century, the reactionary pleas of faltering Catholicism couldn’t hold their water, and so cultural politics had to take a temporary back seat to the inexorable march of Capital.

Rick Santorum was a good Catholic boy.

He wanted two things: to somehow bring industrial manufacturing back to America from its new Asian homeland, and to make sure that “pressing issues” like contraception ejaculate all over the headlines of CNN.  But the reactionary Catholic had to lose.  We all know that, in the battle between Church and Capital, Capital will win every time, leaving Church a small space in the political backseat where it can clean up any condom wrappers it happens to find.  And as for the goal of returning manufacturing to the America, we also know that the very logic of capitalism itself prevents such a sea change.  Capital doesn’t move backwards.  It moves only forward and forward, to wherever it can find the lowest wages.  It’s really quite simple, actually.

Of course Romney was going to win the nomination.  The reactionary Catholic could throw a temper tantrum, but to no avail.  Ron Paul, the ever-so-Protestant reactionary, could stand around and drool over the Earthly Kingdom of Jerusalem (a.k.a., the outmoded American Constitution), pretending that the Industrial Revolution had never happened.  But it was all just a show.  Even the American cable news networks (which understand nothing of basic political economy) knew that the business magnate had to win.  What other choice was there?  So long as capitalism continues to exist, Capital wins.  Every time.  That’s also the reason why, in the end, Obamacare amounted to nothing more than a direct deposit ticket into the bank accounts of insurance companies.

Now, with the pesky head of religion knocked out of the way once again, Capital is free to battle Capital once again, and we’re all invited to watch the match.  Of course, when both contenders represent the same team and even share approximately the same stats, who would even bother to show up?

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