Browsing All Posts filed under »Articles«

Mario Draghi and the European Central Bank: Let’s all be Lithuania!

October 5, 2014


By Bruno Fournier Last Thursday on October 2, European Central Bank (ECB) president Mario Draghi announced that the ECB will soon begin additional stimulus measures for the eurozone economy, which could include elements of what is often called quantitative easing.  This means that the central bank will buy up classes of financial assets that it […]

Is ISIS now operating near Oklahoma City?

September 29, 2014


By Bruno Fournier and Phil Ingram Last Thursday, a man named Alton Nolen beheaded one of his coworkers immediately after getting fired from his job at the Vaughan Foods factory in Moore, Oklahoma. Moore is a suburb of Oklahoma City that also made headlines back in May 2013 when it was devastated by an F5 […]

U.S. to enter Syrian civil war against both sides

September 11, 2014


By Larry Duvalier So, it seems that the United States of America is finally about to enter the Syrian civil war—fighting against both sides, of course (because that makes sense!).  An enemy of an enemy might be a friend, but nobody wants to be friends with the world’s most famous ophthalmologist: Bashar al‑Assad.  What is […]

Neither Justice Nor Peace: A Few Notes on the Events in Ferguson, Missouri

August 20, 2014


By Frank W. Strauch Welcome to St. Louis County, where jaywalking (!) can get you killed by the cops! And welcome to the United States of America, a developed country that has outsourced practically all production except its unquestionably world-class weapons industry, leading to a massively overinflated federal defense budget and therefore a huge surplus […]

Minimum Wage and the Military in Minnesota

August 12, 2014


By Alan L. Maki I hope everyone will share in a point I have to make about the “special treatment” that youth are receiving with the Democrats’ minimum wage increase.  If you notice the Minnesota legislation, it even singles out the ages when these young people are most vulnerable to military recruiters in the high […]

Fake Online Degree Mill Publishes Fake Online Academic Journal

July 22, 2014


By Dawn Occidere and Frank W. Strauch Every now and then, the scientific editors of Selecting Stones like to dig through some old press releases that they having sitting around on their trash heap in order to see what stupid nonsense PR firms have been promoting lately.  Recently, we came across an old gem from […]

Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley Destroys Reason

June 14, 2014


By Frank W. Strauch The United States of America is such a festering cesspool of reactionary irrationalism that even a state with such efficient local government as Maryland has an elected governor who regularly find himself rubbing noses (literally) with some of the world’s most reactionary figures.  And it’s sad, really, given that the state […]

Are Fascists Taking Over the European Parliament?

May 26, 2014


By Bruno Fournier Unless you have been living under a rock (or in North America or possibly Qatar), then you have undoubtedly heard about the results of yesterday’s elections for the European Parliament.  In a nutshell, Far Right parties made major gains, most notably in France where the neo-fascist Front National — now painted up […]

“Generation Opportunity” and Cool Things You’ll Never See on Selecting Stones

May 17, 2014


By Rick Skull From time to time the scientific editors of Selecting Stones hold meetings in various undisclosed subterranean locations to discuss the direction of future campaigns.  On occasion it has been suggested that we should run fewer ad hominem attack stories and divert our time to creating more constructive proposals.  Though editorial meetings remain […]

Without Nuts: An English Magazine Goes Tits Up

May 4, 2014


By Mehmet Shalomovic Last week the United Kingdom saw the final ever publication of Nuts magazine as the ten-year run of the once-popular “lad mag” came to an end.  As we approach around twenty years of the Internet, it is easy to forget how quickly the dispensing of pornography has changed within our lifetimes.  We […]

Power Struggle Rocks Westboro Baptist Church, as Fred Phelps Prepares for Hell

March 19, 2014


By Frank W. Strauch On Monday, the Topeka Capital-Journal once again proved itself to be powerhouse of investigative journalism by revealing the details of Fred Phelps’s excommunication from Westboro Baptist Church.  Read the full article here. In a nutshell, the rumor is true that Fred Phelps, Sr. was excommunicated last August from the famously Calvinistic […]

The Death of Celluloid: De-skilling in the Cinema Business

January 10, 2014


By Rick Skull When I grew tired of mopping up vomit in a nightclub in 2003, I applied for a job working for the UCI Cinemas close to my home in Dorset in the United Kingdom.  I passed a basic interview where I was asked questions like “What is your favorite film?” and “What was […]

The Real Threat of Identity Theft

December 5, 2013


By Amien Essif, of The Gazine Alright, holiday shoppers of 2013 — are you having fun yet?  Did you get your rush on Black Friday, which has now been moved up to Thursday somewhere between the corn casserole and the cranberry relish?  More importantly, did you get your discount?  Great, but don’t let the romance […]

Have you met the mysterious Nicole Tacket?

November 8, 2013


By Rick Skull “Who is this Nicole Tacket?” a friend asked me a few months ago.  “I noticed she’s friends with you, Bob, and Dick, but I’ve never heard of her before.”  These names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity. I had never met Nicole Tacket either, but realizing that many, many friends […]

Weed and Insect Control in Philadelphia, Morocco: The Long and Tortured Relationship of Islam, I.S.L.A.M., and Lawn Care

October 27, 2013


By Frank W. Strauch The scientific editors of Selecting Stones have long held a deep fascination with the interesting quasi-Islamic religion known as Moorish Science.  So much so, in fact, that earlier this year we published a lengthy exposé on Taj Tarik Bey, perhaps the Moorish Science Temple of America’s most charismatic spokesman.  It has […]

Fundamentalist Mormons demonstrate greater Reason than U.S. Government

October 7, 2013


By Frank W. Strauch The scientific editors of Selecting Stones have recently obtained a document of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints via one of our correspondents in the great state of Texas.  The important parts of this document are reproduced in text below, and you can download a scan of […]

Hercules Abdelaziz: I picked up Elizabeth O’Bagy at a shady nightclub in Tangier, Morocco on Friday, July 27, 2007

September 12, 2013


By Hercules Abdelaziz Hello, please allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Hercules Abdelaziz, and I am the newest addition to the scientific editorial board of Selecting Stones, having started only a short few weeks ago.  As it turns out, it was a blind stroke of luck that I joined Selecting Stones when I […]

And The Earth Is Satisfied, So Satisfied

September 8, 2013


The Quest for Mount Zion Problem and the Repeated Generation of Giant Phantasmagorias in the Twenty-First Century By Ansgar Magnus and Bruno Fournier The ancient philosopher Thales set himself the task of discovering the origin of everything that exists, the first principles of being and what it would all ultimately become, and he eventually reached […]

Zero Hour Contracts at Buckingham Palace

September 1, 2013


By Rick Skull How do you fancy working for the Queen?  You could even work at Buckingham Palace, rather than one of the royal family’s twenty-one other residences.  It won’t involve scrubbing the royal toilets either.  As a member of the Palace’s summer staff you will be responsible for selling likenesses of Her Royal Highness […]

Obamacare spells Disaster for Proletariat, while Insurance Salesmen anticipate new Yachts

August 11, 2013


By Liangyi Chen, Frank W. Strauch, and Hercules Abdelaziz A few weeks ago on July 27, the front page story in the Baltimore Sun carried the headline, “Health policy hikes OK’d”.  To briefly summarize: With the “state exchanges” for health insurance plans set to start up as the Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. “Obamacare”) goes into […]


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