Browsing All Posts filed under »Articles«

Power Struggle Rocks Westboro Baptist Church, as Fred Phelps Prepares for Hell

March 19, 2014


By Frank W. Strauch On Monday, the Topeka Capital-Journal once again proved itself to be powerhouse of investigative journalism by revealing the details of Fred Phelps’s excommunication from Westboro Baptist Church.  Read the full article here. In a nutshell, the rumor is true that Fred Phelps, Sr. was excommunicated last August from the famously Calvinistic […]

The Death of Celluloid: De-skilling in the Cinema Business

January 10, 2014


By Patrick M. Dixon When I grew tired of mopping up vomit in a nightclub in 2003, I applied for a job working for the UCI Cinemas close to my home in Dorset in the United Kingdom.  I passed a basic interview where I was asked questions like “What is your favorite film?” and “What […]

The Real Threat of Identity Theft

December 5, 2013


By Amien Essif, of The Gazine Alright, holiday shoppers of 2013 — are you having fun yet?  Did you get your rush on Black Friday, which has now been moved up to Thursday somewhere between the corn casserole and the cranberry relish?  More importantly, did you get your discount?  Great, but don’t let the romance […]

Have you met the mysterious Nicole Tacket?

November 8, 2013


By Patrick M. Dixon “Who is this Nicole Tacket?” a friend asked me a few months ago.  “I noticed she’s friends with you, Bob, and Dick, but I’ve never heard of her before.”  These names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity. I had never met Nicole Tacket either, but realizing that many, many […]

Weed and Insect Control in Philadelphia, Morocco: The Long and Tortured Relationship of Islam, I.S.L.A.M., and Lawn Care

October 27, 2013


By Frank W. Strauch The scientific editors of Selecting Stones have long held a deep fascination with the interesting quasi-Islamic religion known as Moorish Science.  So much so, in fact, that earlier this year we published a lengthy exposé on Taj Tarik Bey, perhaps the Moorish Science Temple of America’s most charismatic spokesman.  It has […]

Fundamentalist Mormons demonstrate greater Reason than U.S. Government

October 7, 2013


By Frank W. Strauch The scientific editors of Selecting Stones have recently obtained a document of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints via one of our correspondents in the great state of Texas.  The important parts of this document are reproduced in text below, and you can download a scan of […]

Hercules Abdelaziz: I picked up Elizabeth O’Bagy at a shady nightclub in Tangier, Morocco on Friday, July 27, 2007

September 12, 2013


By Hercules Abdelaziz Hello, please allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Hercules Abdelaziz, and I am the newest addition to the scientific editorial board of Selecting Stones, having started only a short few weeks ago.  As it turns out, it was a blind stroke of luck that I joined Selecting Stones when I […]

And The Earth Is Satisfied, So Satisfied

September 8, 2013


The Quest for Mount Zion Problem and the Repeated Generation of Giant Phantasmagorias in the Twenty-First Century By Ansgar Magnus and Bruno Fournier The ancient philosopher Thales set himself the task of discovering the origin of everything that exists, the first principles of being and what it would all ultimately become, and he eventually reached […]

Zero Hour Contracts at Buckingham Palace

September 1, 2013


By Patrick M. Dixon How do you fancy working for the Queen?  You could even work at Buckingham Palace, rather than one of the royal family’s twenty-one other residences.  It won’t involve scrubbing the royal toilets either.  As a member of the Palace’s summer staff you will be responsible for selling likenesses of Her Royal […]

Obamacare spells Disaster for Proletariat, while Insurance Salesmen anticipate new Yachts

August 11, 2013


By Liangyi Chen, Frank W. Strauch, and Hercules Abdelaziz A few weeks ago on July 27, the front page story in the Baltimore Sun carried the headline, “Health policy hikes OK’d”.  To briefly summarize: With the “state exchanges” for health insurance plans set to start up as the Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. “Obamacare”) goes into […]

Rafael Correa Seems Like an Intelligent Man

June 27, 2013


By Bruno Fournier and Anthony Burton Rafael Correa, the President of Ecuador, yesterday used his Twitter account to castigate the mainstream international media for focusing its attention on Edward Snowden’s travel plans at Moscow’s Sheremetyevo International Airport rather than the issues raised by the NSA documents that Snowden leaked.  Although everyone loves a real-life thriller […]

The Life and Death of a Blog: Socialism Wins Again

May 19, 2013


By Patrick M. Dixon In researching and writing an article yesterday on the latest Star Trek film I stumbled across a blog, hosted by  The web address seemed to make clear the intent of its founder: (SDNW).  This short-lived but spirited website was primarily concerned with warning Americans of the danger posed by […]

Is Star Trek enterprising?

May 18, 2013


By Patrick M. Dixon Star Trek: Into Darkness is released in cinemas this weekend and the resulting spike in Google searches on the subject perhaps warrants some consideration of the question of whether this franchise presents anything more than a highly marketable product.  The pictures embedded in this article will give some indication as to […]

The Reality of the Baltimore Free School: An Exercise in Lazy Phony Leftism

April 29, 2013


By Frank W. Strauch, Ansgar Magnus, and Bruno Fournier There exists in Baltimore City a project called the Baltimore Free School.  In a nutshell, the idea is to set up a non-traditional and somewhat informal school where volunteers teach courses on whatever it is that they may have special knowledge about, and anyone remotely interested […]

Another Day, Another Dollar, Another Victory for the War on Terror

April 21, 2013


By Phil Ingram As the manhunt for the FBI’s most wanted criminal finally came to an end Friday evening, the free press inevitably began asking questions – not really in order to get to the bottom of things (sadly this has increasingly become the duty and responsibility of Twitter) – but to remind us that […]

The World’s Richest Hindu Gurus: 2013

March 29, 2013


A Special Investigative Report by Selecting Stones By Liangyi Chen and Phil Ingram In the general atmosphere of this prevailing reign of stupidity itself that we are now witnessing everywhere around us on a universal scale, the clouds of mysticism have once again surrounded all phenomena of art and culture with a poetic color and […]

Neither Revolutionary Nor Gangster: Dead Prez Officially Gives Up on Social Progress and Instead Embraces Irrational Buddhist Mysticism (Straight Bullshit)

March 23, 2013


By Jesús Salvatore After Selecting Stones officially came into being as a minor internet phenomenon two years ago in February 2011, the entire committee of scientific editors, speaking as a whole, formally announced that it would be the primary task of this blog to enable the world to clarify its own consciousness and awaken it […]

The Prince Who Got Screwed Up

March 12, 2013


By S. M. A. A little bit of modern capitalist theology: – Is the Prince Alwaleed bin Talal richer than God? – Certainly – Is the Prince happy? – Certainly not – Why is the Prince unhappy? – Because his story got screwed up – How does a prince who is richer than God get […]

No More Sorcery Act in Papua New Guinea after Angry Mob Burns Falsely-Accused Witch atop Neighborhood Trash Heap

March 7, 2013


By Liangyi Chen The sovereign state of Papua New Guinea – which the United Kingdom’s Queen Elizabeth II presently claims as one of the sixteen commonwealth realms over which Her Majesty still technically reigns supreme – is a land riddled with contradictions.  To this very day, old-fashioned historians of civilization still can’t resist the temptation […]

Dennis Rodman Visits Pyongyang: One Rainbow Obamaburger To Go Please

March 6, 2013


By Ansgar Magnus In periods of social degeneration, such as the one that we are presently witnessing on a universal scale under this prevailing reign of stupidity itself, all fields of material and mental activity are subjected to the capitalist division of labor in such a way that penetrates deep inside the soul of every […]


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